My compassion and gratitude corner

Someone visited today and I realized we have never received home visitors, not in Nairobi at least. The only visitors we received were back when in hospital. This has been partially by design and partially by visit fatigue (if that word doesn’t exist then I should get the credit for coining it lol). By design I mean we either tell people we are not home or just decline requests. These kind of visitors keep reviving all the tears I have cried loool. They keep reminding me of the reality I sometimes try to escape. They remind me of a reality where I am always giving - professionally, religiously or family-wise. A reality that sometimes drains me so much I have nothing left. A reality where I am always praying helplessly for one thing or the other to work out.  A reality I love don't get me wrong (because it is punctuated with so much love and testimonies) but a reality I need breaks from. A reality some might perceive as a luxury while I would in a blink of an eye trade it all for a ...

 Today, or rather for a long while now, I have felt the need rather than the urge to just pour out my gratitude for a wonderful HUMAN that 2017 brought my way. His name is Anthony Wagacha. There are so many instances when this gentleman in his kindness has given me a new lease of life. Well, I most recently told him he was heaven sent and he wouldn't believe it. So I will paint a picture of exactly what I mean. In my usual fashion, I will mention those that stick out for me… Our most recent catch up - it just hit me we've never taken a photo lol....  A hopeless Facebook post: I was deep in the throes of caregiving then. Probably 2018. I had not even considered counselling / therapy then. It was a Saturday morning and I remember how excited my sisters and I were to go to church. Brenda was getting better and we were just resuming worship from church then. I loved joining the morning prayer sessions. However, the devil knows how to rain on one's parade. So he somewhat played ...

This will be a super short piece... I’m seated right outside the Nairobi West Hospital pharmacy, waiting for the routine consumables. It’s a good day. Her pressure was perfect today, I smiled even.  So hospitals tend to bring out all sorts of emotions, and I’ve had quite a range of them since we got here about 3hours ago. Another thing is hospitals teach you patience lol so I’ve learned to even take work calls throughout the wait. Comfortable workspace at times... :) Today, what specifically pushed me to write my thoughts was a little boy, I would guess 9/10years old. He’s seated with his mom right across my sister and I. He’s waiting for a doctor to see him. I step out for a few minutes to get water for my sister since it’s water o’clock and so I miss out on a little. When I get back, I find the boy half way through an erratic vomit session. I watch him and what comes to my heart is pain. I feel his pain and that of the mother who watches on helplessly. All I can say is I’m sorry ...

 I write this while seated cross-legged at the floor of Hosea Kutako International Airport. It is about 13.15hrs… waiting for my ET834 14.30hrs takeoff. Lots of mixed emotions. I have already swapped SIMs to my home Safaricom one hahaha… maybe this will be uploaded while in transit at Bole International Airport in Addis Ababa since it will be quite a long write for me and read for you. Not sure where to start with this because somewhat, Namibia has given Rwanda a run for it's money… just a bit though. Maybe because I thought I met an interesting gentleman I would have loved to get to know a little bit more? But travel jinxes it all thanks to the short stints.  Anyhu, the past two weeks have been an absolute blessing. I would want to express everything in detail but my mind went blank in the few seconds of freefall while skydiving so I am writing this from a clean slate - a factory reset mind hahaha. Namibia was a country I wanted to visit for my 28th birthday with skydiving as...

 I think of you daily even though I do not call - you have defined me in ways beyond our DNA. When I dance and sing for my siblings, I see a lot of you in me. When I drive on the road, my tendency to speed speaks volumes of you. When I evaluate my friendships and the value they bring, the very essence of who you are presents itself in me. At the workplace, a lot of your determination sprouts and I know that I am my father's daughter. At church and in spiritual spheres of life, I know your prayers hold me and that our spirits are connected. When it comes to how I love, your sacrificial unconditional approach just jumps out. Your humility and modesty (at least before your PhD lol) is what I wear always because we know how far the LORD has brought us - all the permutations of how our lives would have turned out keep me even more humble. I am you in every way... Today, I think of you more because you were born and I can only imagine the joy you brought to your parents and the humor you...

I know it's been a while - there definitely were moments worth writing about but were overtaken by events and a busy schedule so when in a backdating mood, I will get to them. Fresh from the mental works and reflections... Today’s lesson: You never know the friend you’re missing out on if you don’t dare to start the conversation.  And here goes the story: So, there was a power cut in my area and needed to juice my devices up for afternoon/evening calls. I called up a few neighbor friends so I could refill at their homes in case they had power: Neighbor Friend 1: In the same boat hahaha Neighbor Friend 2: Didn't pick up even after three tries Neighbor Friend 3: Not home  One call was left to make but I was nervous. I would call this stereotyping and I'm totally against the negative versions of it but you recognize those ladies you only know from a distance yes? One thing or the other always keeps you at an arms length sort of relationship. This seemed to me as my last resort...

Today is my birthday… and I will ritually reward myself with another long reflective post. Last year's birthday theme was taking stock and I did take stock. I was grateful and that is the one consistent trait I continue to wear because gratitude has kept me sane!! Looking back on this past year, I feel that one thing is evident - PROVIDENCE. It has been a year full of God's meticulous orchestration of my life's events. There are moments when I thought that there was no card left to deal yet still God had a fresh deck of cards for me. Oh God, how grateful I am for YOU. In no particular order, I will just state events that stood out for me across the different spheres of my life.  Spiritual:   If there's a facet of my life that has blossomed in the past year and especially during the quarantine period, it would be my spiritual life. I have meditated, prayed, fellowshipped, had really fun time alone with God and experienced HIM in ways I can't find the right words for....