I am grateful for six years of loving Joan Mogotu Marita

Exactly 6 years of friendship (now 7 is my favorite number plus all multiples of 7 but the timing for this just felt right 😃). On Wednesday May 13 2015, at around 2-3pm EAT, I met a girl in a green dress. The room if I recall it right was labelled Sherehe. (Could be symbolic because some version of our friendship has been an absolute paaaarrrrttttttyyyyy!!) We were attending an information session, the second step of our interview process at McKinsey & Company. 

I remember that right after the information session we walked together, crossed the road. I don’t recall what we talked about when we walked but I remember the warm excited feeling. I remember thinking about how I’d pray for her - not knowing her faith then and not knowing whether we’d get in but I prayed we’d both get in. I saw her off at her bus stop and walked on to mine.

And yes, God answered that prayer. We both got the job! It has turned out to be God’s utmost ministry of friendship.

Six wonder-filled years later, Marita and I are very very good friends. She has been one of the best quality of friends I’ve had. She has set the bar quite high on friendships I must add. Soft hearted yet strong willed, beautiful and brainy, broken yet really well kintsungi’d (yeah made up the tense for it to make sense). She’s as real as it gets - herself when it’s just the two of us and when there’s hundreds others in the room.

We have had our fair share of enjoyable firsts... First well paying job, first work travel, first solo funded vacation (to date, that trip to Malaysia is one I remember with fondness) and first time exposure to diets we never knew among many others. We’ve had our fair share of trials as with any other friendship - I think there’s a time we didn’t talk for about a month or two but when we reconciled I think I cried haha...

Marita has been so many things to me but the top that come to mind...

A prayer / spiritual partner - now we don’t ascribe to the same denominations but by God we keep each other in check. She’s been my strength when I felt I had sent up one too many prayers with way few responses from HIM. I have prayed for her too when I didn’t know what to say directly to her. We have this very strong spiritual base that every form of advise stems from and that has somehow always bound us!

A sounding board - the McKinsey thought process is a force to reckon with. Sticks with you! You can’t unlearn it but why would anyone want to anyway? We have broken down issues together. Prioritized options together. Created logical thought flows together. Called each other out on overthinking. She has been the objective one when emotional thinking got the best of me. I think this is where beautiful and brainy absolutely shines!!

A cheerleader - if there’s a friendship where success is celebrated, this would be it! No win is too small or too big! From getting a new work email to new big work gigs. She’s among the first calls I make and I share in her wins too! No day has either felt jealous of the other's achievements. Not once has either of us felt like the other is bragging / proud. It’s quite refreshing honestly. I remember there’s a time I had mentioned my plans in a circle of friends and next piece of feedback I received was I’m proud. Now this has been unheard off with Marita!!! It’s not pride, it’s just love and acceptance because we truly know the humble backgrounds we come from and so those wins have to be recognized and celebrated!!

A talk buddy - oh heavens I don’t think there’s any human I’ve talked to on phone longer than Marita! Before school, my sisters complained about how we worked together but would still talk for hours on end on phone on my ride back from work and as I settled in at home. Her being away in school just increased the talk hours. We just never run out of topics of discussion but rather run out of time. There’s laughter, there’s sniffing and running noses. There’s high excitement tones, there’s low somber tones. There’s deep reflection and there’s aimless banter. There’s panic and fear, then there’s reassurance. Marita is the kind of soul that calls to check on me even after I say I’m better and there’s no need for a call anymore.

Family - when friendships graduate to a point that families overlap, then that’s a friendship jackpot! So I hit a jackpot with this one. The family highs, lows and in-betweens have continued to test and refine our friendship. The sleepovers, hospital visits, airport pick ups and drop offs just to mention a few. The opportunity to welcome her into my family and I into hers, is one of the most special gifts I enjoy. Writing this reminds me there’s definitely more I could have done especially with Marita being in school but I’ll partially blame COVID-19 and partially get away with it. One of the highlights of my life will always be sitting at the dinner table with her mother and laughing our hearts out until I almost chocked. When my parents ask after Marita and we remember her during our family devotions, I know they care too.

Our friendship feels like God’s way of demonstrating dependability. God’s way of expressing humor. God’s way of highlighting honesty as core to friendships. God’s way of reminding me that the waiting is totally worth it and easier when you share the waiting experience with someone that gets it. It’s God’s way of cheering me on. God’s way of supporting me. God’s way of telling me I can never run out of things to discuss with HIM. God’s way of reminding me that we can always make time and room for each other. God’s way of showing how easy selfless loving is!!

I’m so glad, honored and privileged to have all that in one amazing human! I hope I have forever and a day to keep thanking God for this friendship. To keep sharing the love God bestows! Forever and a day!

Note to self and to all - Friendships arise from the most unlikely places. They shine brightest when you let each other authentically present themselves. They thrive when you correct each other in love. Some are seasonal but I pray you find your tribe like I did because then you are one wealthy human!! :)

Forever love, D