Prior to COVID-19, I loved him but the lockdown period intensified that love in ways I wouldn't think possible. We would just sit together and not a word would be exchanged between us for hours but I would have felt like a deep love conversation had just been held, one only our hearts understood. Many nights I asked him, Charlie, do you really know how much I love you? He would say yes but I am sure he truly has no idea.
He is a child that has pretty much grown up by himself since my sisters were already going to school by the time he was born... and by the time he could speak and was enrolled in school, we were all in Nairobi hustling or studying. I spent the entire quarantine period just watching him go by his routine as if there was no virus raining on his parade haha... He would wake up at 6.30am, join Mum in preparing breakfast, go around serving breakfast in our rooms then get ready to study. At exactly 4.30pm, he would change into his sports wear just as he would had he been in school and then play football either by himself or with the gardener if he felt up to it. I admired his zeal, his discipline and just the tenacity to do it throughout the entire lockdown.
Another unique trait that dazzled me is how this young man is sent more than 100 times a day and he will run the 99th errand as if it was the first errand of the day. The energy, patience and love he has is very unique. Charlie, please get me this, do this, do that, please run to my room and bring me this, oh Charlie I forgot the other, kindly do it. All this, he did with love, did not complain and neither did he get tired. I was impressed. There are days I just hugged him, held him and I hoped my heart informed his heart how grateful we were that he was part of our family, not to be sent, but for all the lessons of love he was teaching us through his acts. Dad would spoil him with suits and I would catch him once in a while saying, "Aki huyu mtoto amefanya kazi nyingi sana nafaa nimuongezee suti ingine." It's the one way Dad knew best to appreciate him. I mention this specific trait because part of caregiving is being your loved one's hands and feet; it means being ready to go to the kitchen 20 times a day, to the bedroom 10 times etc. I sometimes get tired of those trips and just watching my brother melted my heart in ways I will never find words to express. I wanted to know his secret, I wanted to know his drive, I wanted to tap into the source of his graceful acts. My curiosity didn't last too long though because my answer could only be one, GOD. GOD was part of our family. He took many different forms in all of us but HIS presence for me was dominantly felt through Charlie during this season.
I took so many walks with this young man, so many grocery rounds to town, recharge trips; we baked, we watched tiktok for hours on end, we read, we watched Trevor Noah's Daily Social Distancing Show, we played my three favorite phone games together (scrabble, solitaire, candy crush). We read the bible together, we prayed together. We loved. We laughed. The quarantine was the blessing I needed to get to know Charlie for the angel he is.
Charlie, I hope you read this from time to time as you grow. I hope you remain connected to the source of your unique spirit. I hope you learn early enough that the world is sometimes not receptive of the gem you are but when you do, may you realize that those are the situations you need to infuse more love to. I hope that on your dark days this reminds you of the immense light God has put in your heart. I hope you love, and smile (because I love your dimples too). I hope that the lessons of your childhood really paint a beautiful picture of the adulthood God has ahead of you. I pray that you represent love, stoicism, grace and patience to those around you. I hope you love both in silence and through loud acts. I pray that God protects you from evil. I hope that when you are hurt, you will turn to God first before you look to us. I hope in moments of pain, you know that I would drop everything for you!!! I hope you know that you are confident and smart and that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. I hope you know that I am your biggest fan and I will be here to support you the whole way (this applies to my sisters too and your posts will come hahaha). I pray you always know how much I love you. I know that you love me deeply too.
Charlie, I hope you read this from time to time as you grow. I hope you remain connected to the source of your unique spirit. I hope you learn early enough that the world is sometimes not receptive of the gem you are but when you do, may you realize that those are the situations you need to infuse more love to. I hope that on your dark days this reminds you of the immense light God has put in your heart. I hope you love, and smile (because I love your dimples too). I hope that the lessons of your childhood really paint a beautiful picture of the adulthood God has ahead of you. I pray that you represent love, stoicism, grace and patience to those around you. I hope you love both in silence and through loud acts. I pray that God protects you from evil. I hope that when you are hurt, you will turn to God first before you look to us. I hope in moments of pain, you know that I would drop everything for you!!! I hope you know that you are confident and smart and that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. I hope you know that I am your biggest fan and I will be here to support you the whole way (this applies to my sisters too and your posts will come hahaha). I pray you always know how much I love you. I know that you love me deeply too.
This is just a tip of the iceberg I know, and I will do my best to keep writing about you so that you have a third party record of your childhood from me.
As you grow...
